I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
