And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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