okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
