but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
