I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
