Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My dick has a subreddit
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
