so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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