Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
