I wannas sexs uuuuu
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
