Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
