Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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