Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
