i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I just sharted jello shots
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