I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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