quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
