Don't you send me to vm
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
