The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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