he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
