when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
