I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize