She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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