i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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