dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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