I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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