Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
