my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
