there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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