I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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