Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
