How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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