i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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