we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
vagina is talking i cant
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
