Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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