Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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