I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You need Xanax blowdarts
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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