soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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