I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My hand turned me down
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I checked into jail on foursquare
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dignity is for republicans.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
