if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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