I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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