please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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