a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
