Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
