I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
