shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
