His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
