I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
