Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
