I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
