i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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