do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
