i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
