so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
