We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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