Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
