New invention idea: vibrating tampons
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
