Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
