it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
