did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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