i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
