Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
