Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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