Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
