Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
