hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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