I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
