the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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