i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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