craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
