i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
