Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
