Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
