dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
